Daddys Birth Story

Well little lady you have finally joined us and daddy wants to tell his story of your days up to and including day you joined the family.

This pregnancy was quite a bit different for daddy having been through Oren’s. Daddy had a number of things he wanted to do better mainly being much better support for mummy. I was also very determined that this time around mummy was not going to suffer anymore than she had to.

The early days of the pregnancy were of concern with mummy’s hyper emesis and the development of spd meant mummy was in a lot of pain through out pregnancy. I was feeling quite calm and apart from doing extra reading felt this time around I would be able to support mummy through out.So due date came and went and apart from the occasional twinges mummy was getting you weren’t showing yourself in any hurry to join us. An appointment was booked for a sweep to hopefully start things off.

Friday saw us get to the hospital for what we expected to be a couple of hours maximum but this turned out to be all day. The hospital decided you heartbeat was running to fast and mummy ended up hooked up to monitors as they wouldn’t do sweep until it had settled down. The good news was mummy was already dilated 2” which I think cheered her up no end when she thought back to how much pain she had gone through with your brother to reach that stage.

We spent a few hours waiting for a consultant to see mummy and daddy did get a little upset with the staff for allowing mummy to suffer worry and Oren to be cooped up for hours. Oren was amazing looking back on it how well behaved he was whilst we spent the whole day at the hospital. Eventually the sweep was done but a trip to a ward was required for them to make sure they were happy for us to go home. Finally you heartbeat settled back down to a level which meant we could go home. One bit of information that later on proved invaluable was the fact a new midwife led unit had been opened and we were to ask for that when we rung through to say labour was advanced and we were on our way in.
Saturday proved to be an anti climax full of hope and expectation you decided you were going to keep us waiting a bit longer. Contractions kept staring and then stopping if mummy moved.Sunday saw mummy wake with contractions but we tried to not get to excited in case they proved to be nothing. Keeping mummy moving was the name of the game for the day so off we went for a trip to Peterborough. Coffee was name of the game see if caffeine would help kick start the process (any excuse for a starbucks really) When we got there a festival was on so a nice walk round there and a coffee was lovely way for day to be going. Oren tried cream of my coffee and I ended up getting him his own plate of just cream, which he thoroughly enjoyed.

By now the contractions were definitely picking up and I was now getting excited as I felt certain it wasn’t going to be long before we met you. We decided to go to mothercare contractions were picking up but mummy refused to make fuss or get excited so we ignored them for now and headed home.

I persuaded mummy to have a lie down (previously whenever she did this contractions stopped) when they didn’t I think mummy started to also think you were on your way.So now things went up a gear a little and mummy started bouncing on her repaired birthing ball and then a walk round the village. When we got back we decided to put mummy in the bath. This time we knew that if we did this they would either get stronger or stop and that would give us a good idea. Amazingly mummy was still playing the contractions down and wouldn’t let me time them!!!
It was now about 8pm Oren was settled down and I went to check on mummy in the bath when I saw the strength of contractions and I knew this was it. Mummy was till trying to tell me that they didn’t hurt that much and she was sure she had ages to go yet. I finally timed them and as with your brother although irregular they were still coming approximately every 4 minutes and lasting nearly a minute. I would take no for an answer and rung the delivery suite.
This is a lesson for anybody going through labour, contractions are not always regular when true labour has started. I spoke to midwife and im sure she just dismissed me as panicking father and then spoke to mummy. She was also not helping by being overly brave and almost saying she wasn’t ready yet. I think at this stage midwife was quite confused. When they realised we had quite a journey to hospital it was finally decided we should go in, we did state we wanted the midwife led unit. I remembered to do this whilst giving midwife all our details as now she was suddenly concerned we may give birth in the car on the way!!!
We had arranged cover through three sets of friends to take Oren for us so we rang Alison and Barry who were designated on call couple that day.
We knew we would get to the hospital at around 10.30pm so arranged to hand Oren over in the car park to Barry. On the drive there it was obvious the contractions were getting very strong. Mummy was still in amazing control looking back and realising how close she was to giving birth.

We met Barry and handed Oren over this actually felt quite strange and was quite emotional to be handing him over but we then made our way up to the unit. We were met and taken into the new unit which was quite frankly amazing.

Our midwife Wei was there to meet us and we had the whole place to ourselves.Wei checked mummy and found she was dilated enough to get straight into the pool I cant remember how much that was but I did feel a huge sense of relief that I had called it right and so glad I had pushed for us to get to the hospital. If mummy had had her way I’m sure we would still have been at home.Mummy got into the pool at about 11 and almost immediately the contractions really stepped up a gear. Mummy was for some reason trying to hold off on the gas and air and I think she got quite frustrated with me. She was getting upset and I was trying to get some drink into her but this wasn’t the last time this night she was going to tell me off!!

Eventually mummy decided she would go on gas and air, it clearly did help although mummy is always convinced it doesn’t work. Soon mummy wanted to push and was told she couldn’t as she wasn’t dilated enough. I was trying to encourage her and keep her focused on breathing. I was surprised that her waters hadn’t broken and was a little confused as with Oren they had broken by now or so I thought. I was started to get concerned as mummy was obviously getting very tired and in a lot of pain ( later this became clear the pain was magnified because her waters hadn’t broken I kept trying to get her to drink and eat which again I think annoyed her.. I remember looking at Wei and she seemed to be paying a lot of attention and to me she started to look a little concerned. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to worry mummy and I focused on just trying to help her. It was at this point mummy really got angry with daddy for telling her not to push and and encouraging her.

At some point my concern was obviously picked up by mummy and I was paying to much attention to Wei trying to work out what was happening. Again I was adamantmummy was going to get best care and it was my duty to make sure she did. Mummy snapped at me to stop looking at Wei and look at her and I realised I had been focused on Wei not mummy in my concern.All of a sudden we told me to pull help chord and I suddenly felt huge panic but then as Wei spoke to Mummy I realised it was to get the second midwife for the delivery. Water births need to have two midwives present.

Very quickly another midwife appeared obviously quite a senior one and also a trainee. Mummy was relived because for the first time she was being told to push. Mummy was still in a lot of pain but Wei was encouraging her along. Mummy did decide to argue with us all that she wasn’t going to do it and daddy got snapped at again for saying she could. Mummy then calmed down and started to push again. It felt like forever but I was surprised later to find this part only took about 20minutes.
Mummy even touched your head whilst you were almost out I think this helped her get even more determined and very shortly after you entered the world with you mop of what looked like black hair ( or so it seemed at the time) The time was 1.16am. During the talks we had found out that since unit had been opened only two other women had used the pool but none delivered in it. So little lady you have the right to claim you were the first baby to be born in the pool at hinchingbrooke hospital..

I wanted to be sure mummy was happy with your name and when she said she was you were Willow Rose Beaumont. I got quite emotional at this point and had a lump in my throat. Rose is after my Nan who played a large part of my childhood and means a lot to me. Mummy was holding you and I then got the privilege for the second time to cut my babies umbilical chord. This for me is a very very special moment in you entering the world.

We got mummy out of the pool and Wei checked her over. I got to have some cuddles with you at this point. I think mummy was quite nervous about what Wei would tell her but was relieved to find out that she only ( not sure only is the right word) had minor tears.Mummy was then taken into a recovery room and Wei then was stitching mummy up and her relief was obvious because she was even joking and at one point asked if they would give me the snip whilst they were at it. Mummy had been amazing again during labour and afterwards ( I am staggered at the woman’s ability to go through pain I can’t even begin to imagine and yet be happy) after stitches were completed mummy went to have a shower. A brand new shower room was faulty and it proceeded to flood the whole recovery room. I am then on my hands and knees with Wei trying to mop all the water up and move the electrical equipment.

It was at this point you were weighed and you were a very healthy 8lb 5ozs. Mummy then fed you and again daddy was all emotional because this hadn’t been able to happen with Oren and it was lovely to see.It was then decided I would go home and try and get some rest, by now it was after 4am. A very slow drive home followed and when I got home I couldn’t sleep for sheer excitement and elation that you had joined us and mummy had had a much better experience.

I dropped off to sleep at about 7.30am and was then woken with text from mummy saying you could come home. I was shocked at how quick it seemed but rushed around and got things ready and went back to get you. Again on getting to the hospital I was amazed at the ward and mummy and you were now in a different room again. I joked that mummy was trying out all the rooms. We got you dressed and in car seat to go home said our thank you’s and took you home

Overall for me you birth was a very satisfying and emotional journey. I feel quite proud of my role as mummy’s birth partner I am also very proud of mummy’s strength and determination in having had two births just using gas and air, her inner strength is quite something to behold. I also feel we are very very fortunate to have had two beautiful children born by water births by some very lovely midwives.

The Arrival of Willow Rose

Well, I had gone overdue again and on Friday went to the hospital for a sweep. What should have been an hours appointment, turned out to be an all day hospital marathon as I spent the day hooked up the monitors as they were not happy with baby’s heartbeat. I was having some minor contractions all day, though nothing that different from what I had been experiencing for a few days. The midwife said I was already 2 cm dilated, which I was pretty pleased about, as I had been in painful labour for about 8 hours with Oren before I was 2 cm!

On Saturday morning I had a very little show, and we spent the day in anticipation of something happening! I got some much stronger contractions, but again they kept stopping, and basically nothing happened.

On Sunday 28th, I woke up and the contractions started again, but given this had been happening for days, I wasn’t that convinced anything would happen. We decided to keep me on my feet to try and get them going. So we went into the city to have a coffee and pick up a couple of things from the shop. It turned out there was a festival happening, so we had a walk around that, went to the shop and then had a lovely coffee in Starbucks. Oren ate some cream from Daddy’s frappacino, and liked it so much we had to get him a little squirt of cream on a plate for him to eat himself!

The contractions were picking up a little bit, and we went to have a look around Mothercare, at which point Dean wanted to start timing them as he thought they were quite close together! I put him off though, and we drove home.

When we got home I had a nap and started getting quite excited as the contractions didn’t go away!! Usually they went away when I had a lie down, so I was beginning to wonder if it was the real thing now too... I was too excited to sleep so I started roughly timing them and they were about 6-7 minutes apart.

I got up, told Dean what was happening and then had a bounce on my birthing ball which Dean had just fixed. Then in a bid to get things really going we went for another long walk around Blatherwycke, and when we got back I jumped in the bath. I sat in the bath for about half an hour and they definitely started to pick up a bit. Dean came up and was shocked to see how frequent they seemed to be, even though I was trying to tell him they didn’t hurt that much and I was sure I had ages to go yet!! Dean timed them and when he saw they were 4 mins apart, he insisted on calling the hospital delivery ward for advice.

The midwife at the hospital seemed quite confused herself, as she agreed that I didn’t sound like I was in full blown labour, but she knew we had an hours drive to the hospital, and she said if my waters were to break that things might suddenly happen very quickly. So she advised us to go in the hospital to be checked over - and then she talked to Dean to get his details because she was suddenly concerned I might deliver in the car and need an ambulance to pick us up!!!

Dean rang our friends Alison & Barry to ask them to meet us at the hospital as they were babysitting Oren. The contractions were fairly strong on the drive, but I felt really in control and they felt manageable, totally different to how I remember the journey for my first labour!

When we got to the hospital we walked up to delivery and were met at the door to be taken to the brand new midwife-led unit on the next ward. Dean had said that we would like to use the birth pool when he initially rang in for advice, and they had done an amazing job getting ready for us!

There was a midwife waiting for us in the unit, and she had already run the birth pool ready for us. The unit was AMAZING, it had only been open for a fortnight and that night we were the only people on it.

Our midwife was called Wei, and she checked me over when I got there and said I was 4cm dilated so I was able to get in the pool straight away. It must have been close to 11.15pm by the time I got in the pool. The pool was lovely at first, but the water soon really stepped up my contractions. I didn’t want to use gas&air until they got unbearable as I hoped it would have more impact for me the longer I held off. I was starting to struggle after a while though, I remember being quite upset and crying and Dean trying to feed me chocolate and juice to keep my energy levels up!!

Once the contractions got too strong I went onto the gas and air. Which was pretty well timed as it was soon after this that I started getting the urge to push, but apparently I wasn’t dilated enough to be allowed to push. So for what felt like an eternity, All I could hear was the midwife telling me 'DONT PUSH, BREATHE!!!!' I cannot describe how difficult it was to not push, and a lot of the time I wasn’t successful at it. My body wanted to do it, and it was bloody impossible not too. At the same time I was terrified of tearing my cervix open, and I felt this HUGE pressure down below - because my waters still hadn’t broken. So this part of the labour was more painful than I can ever begin to describe, and as I was going through it I remembered it vividly from the first time with Oren. It really was the part of labour where I couldn’t help but make lots of noise, and I think at about this time I did tell Dean off, because I was getting so anxious, tired and bloody frustrated at being told by everyone not to push!

I also remember very clearly the point where the midwife was looking 'down there' with a rather puzzled expression on her face, and Dean was watching the midwife with a worried expression on his face. I had to ask Dean to look at me at this point because I felt quite lonely and not very much like a person!

I think this must have been about the point which my waters broke, but unlike my first labour, no one noticed them go, they were very discrete!!! Wei told me afterwards that one minute all she could see were my waters bulging out of me, and the next minute she could see the baby’s head! I remember her telling Dean at this point to pull the red cord for assistance, as for a water birth there needs to be 2 midwifes present.

A midwife and a trainee arrived, and finally I was allowed to push. However, typically now I was allowed to push I had totally lost the urge and I couldn’t tell when I was having a contraction. The pushing and feeling that sensation of the baby moving down the birth canal - and it was even more painful than I remembered from Oren!! And just like when I was pushing Oren out, I decided half way through pushing that I couldn’t do it anymore and I wasn’t going to, and had the usual discussion with the midwife and Dean that I wasn’t going to do it! (Apparently the pushing stage only lasted 17 minutes, but it felt like much longer, and if I hadn’t stopped to have this discussion goodness knows how fast it would have been!).

To encourage my pushing, they told me to feel he head, and even told me that she had hair. This time around I did touch her head between contractions, something I didn’t do during labour with Oren.

However, something which I do remember well is the sense of relief once the head had crowned (and god that really hurts!) although this time around, delivering the shoulders hurt more than I thought it would. When she arrived I was so relieved it was all over, I think I even said ‘Thank god that’s over’! It was very strange to be looking at this little person who had all this dark hair and knowing that she was mine.

Dean checked that I still thought our name for her suited her, which I did, and so we agreed then that she would be called Willow Rose. We had some photos of her taken while we were in the pool, and while she was still attached to me by the umbilical cord. Then Dean cut the chord – how lucky he has been to be able to cut both his children’s chords!

After the labour, Wei checked me for tearing and delivered the placenta. She stitched up where I had torn, but reassured me that they were only very minor tears. I was a bit distressed because of how badly I had torn last time, so I was really relieved when all that was finished. This time around I had a 1st degree tear in my perineum and a couple of labial stitches and that was it. During the stitches, through a combination of pure relief and the old gas&air, I was asking Wei if she could give Dean the snip after she had finished stitching me up, as there was no way I wanted to go through that pain again!

Following all of this, I was put onto a nice bed in my own room and then had a shower. The midwife-led unit is so new though that the shower hadn’t been used before, and it turned out there was a fault with it and I ended up flooding my recovery room! Wei and Dean mopped it all up. Willow was weighed and I couldn’t believe it when they told me she was a whopping 8lbs 5oz! She was then given to me for a feed, and it was lovely that this time around I knew what to do and was able to get her latched on straight away – it felt really special and it really helped me bond with her straight away, something which hadn’t really happened with Oren due to the post-labour complications.

Dean went home at about 4am and I was left to get some rest. There wasn’t much chance to rest though as Willow was too excited about coming into the world to sleep! Then 1t 6am, Wei came in to check some details about my discharge, and at 7am the lady arrived to do Willow’s hearing screening. I then was visited by the midwife taking over from Wei, and then was asked to move rooms, so sorted that out and got dressed etc! I texted Dean at 9am to tell him that I would be allowed to go home within the hour, and Dean came to pick us up at about 11am.

So all in all, this was a really positive birth experience. The new facilities and care at Hinchingbrook were amazing, absolutely first class and I could not recommend them more highly.

It really made me realise how badly injured I had been from Oren’s birth, as the post birth pain this time around was so minor compared to last time, and now I realise this is what most women must experience as more normal levels of postnatal pain! It also became really clear to me how important it is to be able to have that time with your baby to hold them and feed them as soon after the birth as possible. I bonded with Willow immediately because I was able to do that this time, and that was fantastic. I feel very lucky to have had two water births, it is unbelievable really.

However, I have said since (and still believe!) that having one birth without drugs was brave, having two was stupid and if I ever had three without drugs it would be clinically insane. The pain was horrendous – although a part of me really wonders if that was partly because of the massive pressure of my waters ballooning out of me. If we were to ever have another baby, I think I would ask them to break my waters for me this time to make the labour more bearable as not being allowed to push was horrendous and incredibly painful.

I shall just conclude the story by saying I feel very fortunate to have two beautiful children, a very supportive birth partner and to have such a straightforward labour this time around. I have wonderful memories and although I am now so glad the pain is over (!) I am so proud of myself for not giving up and really forcing myself to deal with the pain. It is so amazing to see the babies born and come up through the water, and it seems to have a really calming effect on the babies too, to have been born in that way.

So our family is complete, well for now at least!!